Creating Accountability While Going Through Divorce

Because some days, showing up is hard—and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.

Let’s be honest: divorce is a rollercoaster. One day you feel like you’re rising from the ashes, the next you’re eating cereal for dinner and wondering what just happened to your life.

That’s why accountability isn’t just helpful during this time—it’s essential. It’s the anchor that keeps you grounded when emotions take over. It’s what helps you keep showing up, even on the hard days. But here’s the trick: you don’t have to do it alone.

You can build a network—formal or informal—that supports your growth, your boundaries, and your goals. Here’s how to create accountability in your circle so you stay focused and supported as you rebuild.

1. Pick Your People With Purpose

You probably already know who in your life lifts you up… and who drains you. During a divorce, energy is a precious resource. Choose 2–3 friends or contacts who genuinely want to see you thrive—not just survive.

Let them know where you’re headed. Tell them what you’re working on. Whether it’s starting therapy, going to the gym twice a week, launching a new side hustle, or simply not texting your ex back—they can help you stay on track.

Don’t confuse proximity for alignment. Your accountability crew should respect your boundaries and challenge you (with love) when you’re slipping into old habits.

2. Be Specific About What You Need

“Can you support me?” is too vague. Try this instead:

• “Can you check in on me every Thursday to make sure I hit the gym?”

• “I’m trying not to spiral at night. Can we do a 5-minute call if I text you the word ‘spiral’?”

• “Will you help me research career coaches this weekend?”

Most people want to help. They just need to know how.

3. Use a Group Chat or Accountability Buddy

Create a text thread with one or two close friends where you can drop daily updates—no need for a full convo. Just simple messages like:
-Went on my walk
-Didn’t text him back
-Signed up for the class

It keeps you focused and builds momentum over time. Bonus: when they do the same, you all grow together.

4. Celebrate the Wins—Especially the Small Ones

Your friend group shouldn’t just be there to catch you when you fall. Let them celebrate with you when you rise. Made it through a week without crying in your car? That’s a win. Asked for a raise at work? Win. Set a boundary with your ex? Massive win.

Share those moments, and let your people reflect your strength back to you.

5. Give as Much as You Take

Accountability isn’t a one-way street. Be there for your friends too. This builds trust, deepens your connection, and reminds you: you're not alone in the messy, beautiful process of becoming.

You don’t have to wait until you “feel better” to start moving forward.
Build your support team now, and let them carry the weight with you.

At ReigniteYOU, we believe healing is powerful—but healing together is transformative. Want help building your plan and your people? We’ve got you.